
Communication in Surrogacy: Building Positive Relationships and Guidelines for Success
Surrogacy represents an incredible journey, bringing together intended parents and surrogate mothers in a shared goal. The foundation of this journey is trust and effective communication in surrogacy, which helps both sides navigate the process with compassion and clarity. Here, we explore key principles for nurturing a strong surrogate mother and intended parents relationship, providing guidelines for building a positive surrogate-parent relationship to make this journey as fulfilling as possible.
Establishing a Positive Tone from the Start
A warm, respectful tone from the outset is essential for both surrogates and intended parents. Gratitude and openness set the stage for discussions and build a relationship grounded in trust and mutual respect. This supportive approach ensures that future interactions are constructive, even in challenging moments.

Key Components of Sincere Communication
Sincere communication in surrogacy builds a bridge of understanding and empathy. To foster this, consider these components:
- Transparency: Be honest about expectations, concerns, and feelings.
- Open Dialogue: Encourage genuine conversations to address questions and avoid misunderstandings.
- Active Listening: Engage deeply, stay present, and use open-ended questions to gain insight into each other’s viewpoints.
- Empathy: Show sensitivity and compassion for each other’s emotions and perspectives.
- Flexibility: Embrace adaptability, offering reassurance when uncertainty arises.
- Respect for Privacy: Surrogacy is deeply personal; each party’s boundaries should be honored.
Keeping Empathy at the Heart of Surrogacy
The surrogacy journey is both emotional and rewarding, requiring empathy from both parties. Intended parents and surrogates should support each other without judgment, addressing concerns with sensitivity. This emotional awareness fosters a deeper connection and makes the surrogacy experience meaningful for everyone involved.

Providing Regular Updates
Frequent updates are essential for involving intended parents in the pregnancy journey. Surrogates should establish a schedule for updates on the pregnancy’s progress, sharing any milestones or health updates promptly. Intended parents, in turn, should show genuine interest and appreciation for the surrogate’s role in the process, creating a balanced, supportive relationship.
Keeping Communication Channels Open
Open communication is critical for nurturing a trusting relationship throughout surrogacy. Regular check-ins via messages, calls, or emails demonstrate mutual care and ensure that everyone stays connected. Effective follow-ups can include:
- Thank-You Messages: Expressing gratitude after significant milestones, such as medical appointments.
- Reminders for Appointments: From the surrogate, keeping everyone informed of key appointments.
- Feedback from Intended Parents: Acknowledging and addressing the surrogate’s needs, concerns, and preferences.

Using Respectful Language
The language used in surrogacy conversations should always be respectful and mindful. Avoid phrases that could unintentionally cause discomfort. When unsure about specific terms, consult your surrogacy contract or case manager for guidance.
Communicating with Family Members
Surrogacy involves not just the intended parents and surrogate but also their families. Explaining the surrogacy journey to loved ones helps build a broader support network of understanding and empathy, which can be invaluable during challenging moments.